A blue moon

It has occurred to me that this blog is no longer active, which is particularly true to a major extent, due to my intention of leaving it behind. But then again, I guess I just needed to write once in a while, for whatever reason it may be.

Surprisingly, I still have some visitors left! about 20-30++ of uniques per day. Which I wonder why XD about 40% of them came from U.S, the rest are either Malaysians and from some other weird countries.

So now that A level is finally over for good, because I've just received my results, it's time for me to proceed with my tertiary education. Many of you would have already heard that I intend to study abroad, especially UK, but I guess you didn't know the odds of going there successfully. I don't come from a rich family, so there goes my financial support, which means scholarship is my only option. And yes, it's the scholarships that I'm aiming for all these while, and I would seriously very much WANT to study in the United Kingdom. Besides, studying abroad was my prior intention of enrolling A levels in the first place actually, I really wanted a second chance to achieve my dream, and giving it up would sound completely absurd and idiotic to me.

Well, here's a few things that has been bothering me constantly, raising doubts and dilemmas in me upon the path that I'm gonna choose.

1) UK's intake is not until Sept, and now is like feb? What am I gonna do for such long duration? Work? Sure of course I can, but it leads to point no.2

2) Work is boring. Work is boring. Work is boring. Work is boring. Work is boring. Work is boring. Unless there's a really attractive work which has somewhat attractive pay and awesome job scope, then it'd be an entirely different story :) Seriously, it'll be for quite a period and mos of my previous works isn't entirely a pleasant experience, except for one in Hewlett Packard. Gosh, i miss all my colleagues and friends suddenly.

3) The loneliness issue. By now I'm like already an adult and what sort of nonsense would this be right? You have no idea actually, most of my friends are either starting unis and have already found something else, so now I'm the one left alone, trying to move on into a state of uncertainties. Note that I still have to wait for all my uni offers and scholarship replies to actually have a firm decision to study aboard, there's so many stages to go through and every part of it seems crucial. If, there's something which screws up pretty much everything I'll be wasting so much time, and it's just doesn't seem so wise.

4) I'm a person who think of both sides, so being negative is inevitable. But do note that I'm still hoping for the best, there's a part in me that tells me I'll make it out there successfully. Just that when you have so much time to think and ponder, such thoughts will just appear out of nowhere. The waiting part is the thing I dread seriously, what's more when you don't have much alternative except to just wait, and hope, and wait, and hope. It just drives you nuts some time.

Meh, such length of crap, thankkiu for reading and byebye.