A pause

I realized I haven't been writing at all for a long time, or rather, the truth - I have submitted myself into a state where I don't have to think of what to write anymore. In other words, I haven't been thinking properly enough to even produce something readable, and now after an approximate of 9 months break that I had (ignoring the fact that I actually commenced my degree in Melbourne U. for 3 weeks and the remaining one week used to travel), I regret to say that my brain has almost develop into a state of comma and is no longer as intellectually functional as it used to be anymore.

How did I realize that?

Proofs;-

- My mental calculation has degraded onto a level that I would be ashamed to tell anyone that I am currently studying in a University, heck, let alone pursuing economics! Try to picture this, my mind actually processed the division of 50 by 2 as 100 the second I was prompted a question like this.

It's not that funny actually. I'm starting to worry that I might have some brain cell degeneration disease that is actually consuming my already inadequate intelligence. Dis iz no gud.

- Speech obstruction. I have problem conversing a proper and decently well-structured sentence without being stuck for words at times. Now that I am already in a country where the Inggrish people (and many other non-Inggrish too) lives, the need to at least communicate in competent English is therefore fundamental. However, my verbal communication skills has deteriorated into a sub-par standard where I can hardly construct a properly well-versed speech, I guess the days of speaking broken inggrish and chinese in college freely have to come to a complete halt.

Again, I believe it has something to do with the brain not being able to process my thoughts and speech coherently. Shit I am gonna die soon omfgee.

- Lectures. I cannot, for the life of me understand how can everyone (according to lecturers and seniors) say that first year is the easiest year. Walao, attending Mathematics for economist lectures is already taking a toll on me, and most of the times, I can barely understand what Pemberton (my lecturer) is trying to teach. Is it just me or am I just getting more and more intellectually deprived. I have to do a lot of self-study on my own to actually understand what were being taught in lectures. Where is all my intelligence and comprehensive ability?

Please revive yourself, if you're already dead within the brain ( <- supposedly a monologue to me very own braaaiin) Typing this alone kinda proved that there could possibly be something that has been meddling with my intelligence. As much as I sound like I am getting more and more pathetic, I believe it's time for me to get smart, no, wait, not just smart, I have to be a lot SMARTER! People here are just so crappily brilliant where they actually tell me this after lectures, oh it's quite easy/ok/I can understand - ya, thank you for giving me a virtual slap on my face.

See!

I told you!

It's my brain!!

Maybe I should consult a neurologist. Or maybe I should stop typing all this bull shit and practice my brain harder, bombard them with more readings, maths and IQ questions.

And I actually spent half an hour typing this where I should be doing my French work instead. Wtf, how unproductive. Bye.